


The Epic Love Story of Castiel the Pink Glittery Kitten-Sized Unicorn and Dean Winchester, Fox Version, Thanks to Chuck and Stupid Mind-Reading Witches

by PetrichorPerfume



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Animal Transformation, Dean Does Research, Dean Hates Witches, Fanfiction, Fluff and Crack, Love Confessions, M/M, Parody, Writer Chuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 09:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1853719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Castiel gets turned into a glittery, shimmery, sparkly unicorn and Dean knows where this road leads and maybe sort-of doesn't mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Epic Love Story of Castiel the Pink Glittery Kitten-Sized Unicorn and Dean Winchester, Fox Version, Thanks to Chuck and Stupid Mind-Reading Witches

Dean wasn’t sure which he hated more: mind readers, or witches. He was pretty sure, though, that _mind-reading witches_ had to take the metaphorical Fuck-You Cake of Things He Absolutely Despised.

 

At the moment, Dean really hated Chuck and the people who wrote stories about their lives as well. It wasn’t that he _enjoyed_ reading those stories – it _wasn’t_ – it was that he had a _duty_ to read them. He called it research, and Sam called it something to the effect of everyone-knows-you’re-gay-for-Cas-so-just-admit-it-already, but what did Sam know?

 

He had a legitimate excuse, anyway. Some of the stories were incredibly well-researched and had hints and tips on how to gank monsters they hadn’t even come across yet. He viewed the stories more as a tool than as entertainment.

 

And if sometimes he clicked on a fluffy AU where he was a mechanic and Cas was a librarian... Well, no one had to know.

 

The night before they’d come across the witch, he’d been browsing through some animal transformation stories. When Sam gave him a Look, he insisted that they had to explore every possibility and be prepared for every eventuality. Most of the stories involved Castiel turning into a kitten, usually all black or black with white stripes where his wings should be. Some of them had Dean turning into a dog or some other appropriately fierce but ordinary creature. Dean’s hypothetical favorite – not that he _had_ a favorite – was one in which both Dean and Cas turned into cats and they snuggled. He quickly repressed the thought and moved on to the next story.

 

Then they came across a stupid mind-reading witch, and everything went downhill from there. First, they weren’t fast enough to end her, which pissed Dean off to no end. Second, when they returned to the hotel room, there was Castiel – not a cat, not a dog, not even a hamster, but a fucking _unicorn_ the size of a kitten with a rainbow tail and a glittery pink horn – sitting placidly on the bed and staring up at them with big blue sparkly eyes.

 

Cas could still talk, which was a small mercy, but then everything went horribly wrong and Dean turned into a fox. Fox!Dean could still talk as well, which he supposed he should be grateful for, but he wasn’t, because he knew what happened next.

 

It took Dean an entire day to man up and play his role. He reluctantly snuggled up to Castiel the Unicorn and started the process of admitting his undying love to him. “Love you, Cas,” he mumbled against the unicorn’s mane.

 

“I love you too, Dean,” Castiel gushed, the words tumbling out of his mouth in a spray of glittery froth.

 

Then everything went white and Dean found himself – human, thank God - spooning Castiel on the bed, _naked,_ and covered in pink and purple glitter.

 

The stupid mind-reading witch turned out to be Gabriel, because of course it did, so Dean responded accordingly and put the archangel trickster on top of his list of Things He Absolutely Despites and his list of Biggest Dicks Ever, which sounded wrong when he said it aloud. He also put him grudgingly on the top of his list of People/Things/Dicks that Helped Me Admit My Undying Love for Castiel, which also sounded pretty bad when he said it.

 

And if he kept reading the stories for ‘inspiration,’ well, no one but him and Cas needed to know.


End file.
